It’s been a bad month. A very, very bad one. Maybe the worst one. And I need an outlet. Mainly because I have an awful support system at the moment (sorry, not sorry). So let’s kick the tires on this bad boy and try something different.
For the last couple of years, I’ve recapped my year during my final resolution post. I love documenting life (I’ve blogged for years. I have a Q&A a day journal. I keep a composition notebook with an entry every day since January 2014.). And I love lists. But combining a whole year into one post gets a bit unruly. So I’m going to give monthly posts a shot. I don’t want to devote time every week to an entry. I get to shorten my end of the year post. And I get to tell you people far more information than I should.
So how’d the month go? [Spoilers… very shitty]
- Welcomed August with getting my butt kicked at work. Campaign after campaign!
- Started regularly running. 1.5 miles down, plenty to go.
- Got to meet a girl’s foster pup. He’s smart and cuddly, a dangerous combo.
- Lunch with a girl. Rice Krispie treats with a girl. Dog walks with a girl. Putt putt with a girl. Ice cream with a girl. The Spy Who Dumped Me with a girl.
- Counting Crows (not great…) and +LIVE+ (way better than I expected) with a girl.
- No more girl. Caught completely off guard.
- Upped it to 1.75 miles.
- Last minute 311 (SO GOOD), The Offspring (still good), & Gym Class Heroes show
- Back down to 1.5 miles.
- Dierks Bentley (crushed it) & Brothers Osborne (<3) show w/dad & drunk neighbors.
- Chopped off all of my hair! And upped it back to 1.75 miles.
- Scheduled a free OrangeTheory Fitness class.
- Went wild and upped it again to 2.0 miles.
- My boss asked if I was okay. That was a first for me. I wasn’t. Probably still not.
- A coworker was fired. Bad mood made worse. Still churned out 1.5 miles though.
- Got bad grandmother news. A worse mood made awful. Had to leave work early.
- Canceled OrangeTheory
- No emergency surgery (fortunately) but grandmother isn’t doing well (unfortunately).
- My truck battery died. Awful mood made… whatever’s worse than that.
- Ran 2.0 miles. Then another 1.5 miles.
- Vendor dinner at The Fig Tree. I’m not cut out for fancy places, man.
- Took a mental health day. Hiked 7.0 miles in Congaree National Park.
- Met San Diego at Grill Marks for a $10 shake after she bailed on the zoo and baseball.
- Went to my first Columbia Fireflies game anyways. Probably shouldn’t have.
- Ran a 5K! In 31:11!
- Started painting my living room Repose Gray.
- Rescheduled OrangeTheory. Got my ass kicked. Hard. Signed up anyways.
- Got rid of more hair and shaved off the beard.
- Gave up my phone. Turn it off at night. Don’t take it to work. It’s refreshing!
- Ran 1.5 miles. Then 2.5 miles. Then 1.5 miles. Then 2.0 miles. In four days.
By my count, that’s a fired coworker, a break up, and a dying grandmother. Within 10 days. It’s been an unbelievable struggle to keep my shit together. And some days I haven’t. I don’t want to be in Charlotte anymore. I don’t want everything to remind me of a girl who flipped my world upside down. I don’t want to go to work. I don’t want to go to Clemson’s opener tomorrow. I miss my friend. I don’t want “a break” to be forever. But I’ve also put in what appears to be 27 miles running which I haven’t done since my half marathon training. I’ve signed up for a gym. I’ve lost close to 5 pounds. And most importantly, San Diego [and my brother] have been saints. Thank you both so much. I tell you and it’s still not enough.
See you in September!
I need an ending.
So why can’t you stay…
just long enough to explain?