- Sight: I read this earlier in the week in the book I’m reading…
I thought about the times I felt happy because of someone I liked, or more appropriately, lusted after. If that someone seemed to like me, I would be ecstatic. The problem with that paradigm was that if my happiness depended on a man, what happened when the man went away? […] I had been like a rat in a cage who got drugs when she pressed a lever – pleasure, repeat. Pleasure, repeat, until she ignored the food lever entirely and starved to death.
And it sent me down a rabbit hole. Things I need to change about myself. Things I need to change about relationships I have. Things I need to change about relationships I want. It’s been an introspective week. And a very humbling one.
- Sound: I leave country music on during the day for the pups. I came home to Lee Brice earlier this week and had forgotten all about this song. Also, shout out to fellow Clemson alumnus!
I am insensitive
I have a tendency
to pay more attention to the things that I need
- Taste: No lunch roulette this week because of work meetings. It would have been Smashburger, so I’m okay missing that one. Especially with a lunch deuxlette on deck later today for JJ’s Redhots. Nothing too crazy this week though. I’ve fallen back into my “fried egg sandwiches for dinner every night” routine.
- Feel: Ambitious. I’m absolutely in love with the book I’m reading right now – Almost Somewhere by Suzanne Roberts. I’m a fiction kinda guy. Nonfiction books seem to drag and put me to sleep, no matter the topic. But for some reason, outdoor/hiking memoirs flat out speak to me. Into Thin Air. A Long Trek Home. Hiking Through. Wild. I could go on and on. They’re inspiring to me. They make me want to hike the Appalachian Trail, go on another cross-country trip, branch out, challenge myself. So I’ve been kicking around the idea of outlining a book about my trip around the country in 2010. I just need to get out of my own way and do it.
I’m mentally exhausted. Show yourself out if you don’t mind 🙂