What I Learned: July 8, 2016

  • I wrapping up the third week of my new job! I got a big boy job working in downtown Charlotte for Ally Bank. It’s a little overwhelming right now because it’s been a long time since I’ve been the new kid on the block, learning the day-to-day ropes. But so far, everything else has been an incredible step up. The hours are better. The stress level is better. The benefits are better. The pay is better. I miss the people in the old gig but hopefully we’ll keep in touch.
  • The last What I Learned entry boasted of a girl. That I like. A lot. Unfortunately, it all came to a crashing halt this week. It sucks. Bad. Because I’m still crazy about her. And I’m hurt. And lost. And completely vulnerable. Which I hate. Yesterday was miserable. Now, I’m just second guessing… and triple guessing… and quadruple guessing what I should be doing. Do I keep trying? Do I go cold turkey and give up? Do I give it some space and reach out in a week or two? I don’t know much except I know that this feeling is excruciating.
  • Not completely unrelated to the last bullet point, I’ve been having serious thoughts about looking into counseling or a therapist in the area. The only problem is that I’m absolutely clueless on where to begin. I’m a bit across the board as to what I think I’m looking for… personal growth? reflection on my past relationships? communication goals? life coaching? And from there, how do you find a “good” one to go to? It doesn’t help that I just started a new job, so my insurance isn’t exactly squared away yet either. I’m just not sure how this works, so if you have experience, advice would be much appreciated.
  • Again… not completely unrelated to the last two bullet points… I’ve been reading through The 5 Love Languages for Singles by Gary Chapman during my lunch break. I’m pretty certain that my love language is Quality Time. But I speak well to others in Gifts and Acts of Service. Which leaves me lacking in Physical Touch and downright abysmal in Words of Affirmation. I’ll let you connect the dots. I just wish change came easier to me.
  • On a semi-unrelated note, I’m now in the market for extra-curricular activities to keep me moving in the right directions. I’m seriously considering getting back into volunteering at the animal shelter. I love dogs and ideally, the extra walking should help shed the pounds I’m needing to shake for my New Years Resolution. Or maybe spend a couple of weekends with Habitat for Humanity. I’m already in their system from volunteering with work. I’m also kicking around the idea of joining up an intramural/rec league of some kind. First options would be softball or flag football.  All new things I’ve never done before, so that leaves me a little lost and leery.

Hope your week has been better than mine. I’m looking forward to the weekend.

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6 Responses to What I Learned: July 8, 2016

  1. Aunt Lisa says:

    Ask HR about LifeMatters® Employee Assistance Program (EAP), which includes counseling services, is no cost to employees, is a separate policy from health insurance, and starts from date of hire versus the start date for health insurance. https://www.ally.com/about/careers/ and https://www.mylifematters.com/

    • Thanks Aunt Lisa. It looks like it may be self-instructed stuff but I’ll definitely take a look at it this weekend. I made a phone call to both HR and the insurance company today and it looks like my plans aren’t set up yet, so that’s a bust for the time being.

  2. Rickle says:

    Absence makes the heart grow fonder
    If you love something let it go
    Both cliches but are cliches for a reason. My buddy was seeing a therapist after his engagement was broken off if you’d like. Also golf is very relaxing and working out helps counter the chemicals that cause your pain.

    • Appreciate it, Rickle. I’m not arguing against space, necessarily. But I’m incredibly bad at sitting on the sidelines and letting things happen. Golf is also expensive and dumb. I’ll pass on that but may take you up on who your buddy saw.

  3. Sounds like you are on the right track. Just hold on and let the dust settle a little bit. Once your head can think without your heart and emotions screaming in your ear, you’ll better know what to do.

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